She had to live as a woman for six months [before the surgery]. She showed up at work one day dressed as a woman. Now, there's a story for you about courage.

Speaking of courage, is there a gay cause that's particularly close to your heart these days?

Gant: I'm getting involved with a group called SAGE - Senior Action in a Gay Environment. They're New York-based but nationally focused. It's become something of my torch. Young gay people are often told, "You're going to grow old alone." I was terrified that I was going to grow old alone.

Paige: [Laughs] I'm still terrified I'm going to grow old alone.

Gant: We need to change both the perception and the reality. Some 20% of gay and lesbian elderly don't have people to help them get their medications and do things for them, as opposed to 5% of heterosexuals, because of familial ties and the way things are. I just know that this isn't a culture I want to grow old in as it currently exists.

Paige: Because it's so unforgiving. Western culture is unforgiving, but gay culture is even worse.

Gant: Terms like "troll" and "old queen" and "lech" - this is how we refer to our elderly. Unlike Eastern and Native American cultures, who revere their elderly, we're completely turning our heads away from an untapped resource, which is the wisdom and experience of our elderly.

Who's more responsible for that situation? The young people who are turning their back on the untapped resource of the elderly or those elderly gay men who refuse to take the role of "elder" seriously?

Gant: It's both. It's still fear on both sides. For older folks, it's the difficulty of tearing down the walls and getting to a place of self-love: learning to embrace their age as a gift, as beauty, in the same way we struggle to accept feminine qualifies as beautiful. It's something we need to awaken to.

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